Corruption, poverty, nuclear warfare, pollution - these ills of man-made society pale in comparison to the biggest nemesis threatening an individual's survival today. Yes, where there is a will there are a hundred relatives. And where there are a hundred relatives, there is the last shred of sanity, the last sliver of peace hanging on to a rocky cliff more eager to let go than to be rescued.
We have been blessed with parents who have tolerated us since the first day they saw our howling, scrawny, crimson face. And we have siblings who have tested our levels of tolerance as much as we've abused theirs. You would think that these elements are enough to constitute a happy family formula but no - the moment you have your back turned you will be barraged with a horde of relatives whose social manifesto has a simple one point agenda - Irritate. And just when you've had enough, irritate some more.
I mean no offense to the lucky beings who have been blessed with cousins and relatives who have sacrificed their usual demeanor to turn over a new leaf - basically act like normal human beings. But in my limited social experience, I have come to associate relatives with the following concepts - money, property litigation, juvenile rumors, wedding harassment,uncomfortable questions, needless intervention, envy, condascension, unjustified politeness, superficial laughter, hilarious hypocrisy and of course, inherent irritation. I wouldn't be surprised if the next movie on Batman has the Dark Knight fighting the most sinister force of all - his distant, high pitched aunt who just didn't keep as much distance as required.
It is beyond my comprehension that when each of us have enough troubles of our own, why would we bother to create trouble in the already complicated lives of others? Does dishing out ill treatment to another make our problems simpler? Especially, when you are harming individuals within the social construct of the so called extended family, is there a divine kick that one obtains from being a pain in the wisdom tooth (the worst pain ever)? If all doctors are meant to have illegible handwriting, are all relatives meant to be equally wicked? Is it a universal black hole from which no relative can escape and rise?
This web of relatives is nothing but an intricate chain meant to slow us down and keep us entangled forever in conversations that deserve no words. For all you fortunate ones who have benign relatives, do get back to your blessed lives, live happily and let live. And for all you empathetic, eye-rolling ones who understand my predicament, I have one advice - leave them all behind in their petty squabbles and go make your own family. One you would be proud to call your own and who would stand by you even as you trip over your own clumsy feet. Because most often in life, we don't even need others to pull us down, we are too busy doing it to ourselves.
My aforementioned suggestion does not encourage indulgence in unfettered population expansion. All it asks for is an exercise in the freedom of choice.You spend over an hour trying to select the perfect pair of denims - so do take some time out to choose who you would want to surround yourself and be associated with, for the rest of your rather puzzling life.
Even a dog circling the street lamp outside can prove to be a better companion, relatively speaking.
